After a lot of thought...

There are some things you feel like you should share, and there are some things that you really have to think about before sharing.  For about two years now Nate and I have struggled with infertility - most of our friends and family know, but there is something vulnerable about posting your struggles on the internet.  Over the past couple of months Nate and I have been through a battery of tests - all of them coming back normal.  Most people would be thrilled to hear that a medical test came back normal - you don't know how sick I got of hearing that.  I actually just wanted something to be wrong so we could do what we needed to do to fix it.  But, they couldn't find anything. 

About a month ago we went to see a fertility doctor and she suggested that I start taking Clomid and also suggested we go ahead and try IUI (artificial insimination).  We were a little taken aback that she would suggest this so soon, but we had already had all the tests we needed so we decided to think about it.  After some thought, we decided that we would go ahead and try it this month.  We went to the doctor today and she said that everything looked good - so we will be going in for the IUI on Thursday at 2:30. 

I am hopeful, excited, scared, anxious, and about a ton of other emotions.  This has been a hard road for us, but it has also been a good road for us.  So I write this to ask for prayer.  A couple of things to pray for:

• I struggled with seeking fertility help.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is the creator of life.  But I also know that God has given us these procedures for times like this.  No matter what I do, the life I hope to carry will still be ordained and created by God.  I am peace with this now, but I do pray that Nate and I would be able to keep our focus where it should be.  That we would not lose ourselves in science, but that we would be patient and wait for the Lord to accomplish His will in His time.
• Obviously - the big prayer is for life to be created on Thursday.  It sounds kind of funny to me now that I'm writing this out, but that is our biggest prayer request right now!
• I pray that we would continue to live in hope no matter what happens in the next couple of weeks.  We know that our chances of getting pregnant are higher, but we also know that it may not work.  We have to rest in the Lord's peace knowing that He is taking care of us, and during this time - that is a really hard thing to do. 

I will update when I have something to update with.  Either way, I will most likely keep it a little close to the chest for a little bit so Nate and I have some time to get used to whatever the outcome is.  Be patient with us, encourage us with prayer and believe me - no one will be happier than me to share the news when the time comes.