Round Two

Well, we are gearing up for round two of the IUI.  It has been an emotional day.  I went in this morning for an ultrasound to make sure I was ready.  During the ultrasound, the nurse said that she thought we missed the time frame and weren't going to be able to do it this month.  So immediately I began fighting back tears (partly because of the hormones I'm taking!)  They decided to do some bloodwork to confirm and I found out this afternoon that we hadn't missed the window yet.  So, we will go in tomorrow at 3:30 to have the procedure done.  Please pray just as you did last month. 

The Lord is really working in me this month and I can feel it.  Since our miscarriage, each month I have believed with my mind that the Lord would give us a baby.  I knew that He would.  That part wasn't hard for me.  But I think in my heart, I have been doubting a little bit.  I usually prepare for the worst case scenario - sometimes that can be good because you usually don't get too disappointed.  But sometimes it can begin to spin a negative outlook on things.  So about a week ago, I began to decide to be positive this month and to believe that the Lord was going to give us a child.  To believe it with my heart and allow myself to get excited.  I was talking to Bird today and I compared this feeling to finding your husband.  You meet the man that you know you are going to marry - you know it with all your heart, but you can't let your heart believe it just yet because you are afraid of getting hurt.  But when you finally do let your heart believe that he is the one and fall - the joy just over takes you.  That is how I feel.  I am allowing myself to get excited about the possibility of it working this month.  Will the fall be harder if it doesn't work out?  Yes indeed - but I think it will be worth it.  Because now I feel like I am living in faith with my heart and not just my head.  I have to live knowing that God will take care of me.  So today - I choose to be positive.  The devil tried to throw me a curve ball this morning, but I'm not going to let it take me down.  I'm on my way up!

My aunt leaned over to me in church on Sunday morning and told me that she was praying for me - that God blessed Hannah with a child and she believed that He would bless me.  Little did she know that I have been clinging to that passage of scripture since all this has been going on.  God did bless Hannah in the course of time - and He too will bless me.

One last story - kind of a P.S. -
Today, Bird and I were shopping for cake ideas for So-So's birthday.  A couple of weeks ago they moved So-So out of her crib and into her big girl bed.  Well, we will be using that crib when it is time, so they just went ahead and brought that and the changing table/dresser over to our attic to store.  So-So is also potty training - yay!  Which means no more diapers, which also means no more changing pad needed.  So, this morning Birdie was getting the changing pad and covers together and Goose was in the room with her.  This is their conversation (as best I can remember).

Goose - "That's for Aunt B and Uncle Nate's baby."
Birdie - "Yes, it will be, when they have a baby"
Goose - "They are going to have a baby."
Birdie - "Yes they will, in time"
Goose - "No, they are going to have a baby soon."

Out of the mouth of babes.